Remember me - WinterWidow
by Mystique1250
Summary: After Bucky returns, Steve tries everything to bring back the memories of his best friend. So he asks the Avengers and especially Natasha for help. But Steve doesn't know anything about their common past. Can Natasha help them bring back Bucky's memories? And do old memories perhaps also bring back old feelings?
1. Chapter 1

The streets of New York were pouring with rain and Steve couldn't wait to get back to the apartment he had provided for his best friend Bucky. He tried not to let the food he had gotten from the Chinese get wet. However, he succeeded only partially.

When he arrived at the front door, he unlocked the apartment door relieved and stepped into the hallway. All his clothes were soaked and he began to freeze slowly. So he quickly ran up the stairs until he arrived in front of the apartment and also opened this door quickly.

"Steve", a male voice sounded muffled from the kitchen: "Is it you? "Yes, I'm back," he said, putting her food on the shelf in the hallway and then going to the bathroom to throw his soaking wet jacket into the bathtub. Then he stepped into the kitchen with the food in tow.

There he saw his best friend Bucky Barnes, who was already sitting at the kitchen table looking at him expectantly. "Hey," Steve greeted and shoved the food over to the dark-haired man before he went to one of the kitchen cupboards to get his plates and cutlery. Hey," Bucky replied, "and Steve could hear him ripping the plastic bag open. Apparently, Steve wasn't the only one who almost died of hunger. "It's really pouring out of buckets outside," he said and started setting the table.

"Hmm," Bucky mumbled, however, and seemed quite absent. "Bucky," he asked and waved his best friend's hand in front of his face: "Are you listening to me at all? He blinked several times and Steve saw his eyes clear slightly: "I'm sorry, I had a short dream".

Then Bucky handed Steve his food and took his own and a fork. "What were you thinking about?" Steve asked and then slowly began to eat. "Oh, nothing important", the other one simply gave up and continued to poke around with the cutlery in his food without concentration.

Steve raised his eyebrows and looked at him inquiringly. This depressed silence did not look at all like his best friend. Anyway, it had never been like that before. Since Bucky had reappeared in this century, he had changed a little. But that didn't change the fact that he was still his best friend.

Although he had no idea what his best friend had gone through while he was frozen in the ice himself, and probably couldn't imagine it at all, now they were both backs. They were finally reunited and Steve wanted to help his best friend find himself again.

Because right from their first meeting he had noticed that his best friend didn't remember anything about his past. When he asked him about it later, Bucky confirmed this assumption. And even though he kept playing it down, Steve knew that it would be harder on Bucky not to know who he had been than he would ever admit.

"Come on, Bucky," he tilted his head slightly and looked at him a little reproachfully: "You know you can tell me anything." He wanted to help him and couldn't have it when he saw that Bucky was suffering. Bucky sighed, but then opened his mouth and said, "It's just ...". "What? he asked immediately and wanted to get him to keep talking like that.

"Do you feel alone here?" he asked him and swallowed. Although he tried to visit the man as often as he could, his duty to the Avengers was great and the team regularly asked for him. Besides, he didn't live with Bucky in the apartment, but with the other six in the new Avengers Tower and unfortunately, he couldn't change that easily either. "Bucky, I'd love to help you, but ...," he said a little contrite and immediately felt bad because he wanted to be there for his best friend.

"No, that's not the point," Bucky told him immediately, noticing how guilty Steve began to feel. "Steve lowered his fork and leaned his elbows against the tabletop. His friend's needs were now really more important than his food.

Barnes breathed deeply several times and stroked his way through the longer, dark hair: "I finally want to remember, Steve." Both stared at each other for a moment and silence spreads between them. "I want to know who I was', he continued, 'and I need your help for that. Please, Steve, please!

Steve's heart stopped for a moment and he just stared at the man in front of him for a moment. He also wanted Bucky to remember the old times and their shared experiences. But wouldn't Bucky's bad memories also return then?

"Is it really that important to you?" Steve sounded careful. He didn't want his friend to make a hasty decision and had no idea how to help his best friend. Bucky lowered his head and put the fork down as well: "Yes, Steve, I really do." "Even if all the bad comes back then," the blonde threw in to make it clear to his friend what that could mean.

But Bucky didn't wait for a second to say anything back: "The bad is as much a part of my past as the good. It makes me the person I am." Rogers took some deep breaths and then fixed him with a penetrating look: "Well, if that's so important to you, I'll do anything to help you."

Barnes' eyes lit up with these words and he reached for Steve's hand: "Thank you, you are a really good friend. "But I really can't promise that it will work," Steve immediately interjected, trying to make him understand that his efforts might not be crowned with success.

"I know", Bucky nodded reassuringly as he was aware of it himself: "But at least you can try." A reassuring smile appeared on Steve's smile and he immediately began to think about how he could help his friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Still a little sleepy, Natasha stepped out of her room. She had returned late from her last mission yesterday and had slept accordingly for a long time. However, loud voices reaching her ears had disturbed her sleep and made her leave the bed.

With a slightly irritated look, she arrived a few meters later in the living room and saw her teammates, who had gathered in the room and were loudly discussing. A little beaten to death by all the morning bustle, she cleared her throat loudly after a few seconds as none of the others seemed to have noticed her.

Immediately the five men fell silent and turned their heads towards her. "Tomorrow," she muttered, moving under her gaze toward the sofa where Clint, Bruce, and Thor were already sitting. Tony and Steve were the only ones standing. As soon as she had dropped on it, both men immediately began to discuss again and their words sounded suspiciously like a quarrel.

"Tomorrow," Clint greeted her quietly and gave her a little more room to sit properly beside him. "What's going on?" she whispered to him and watched the scene. "The two argue. Again," he whispered and put an arm around them so that he could pull them. She was wearing one of the T-shirts she had poached from his wardrobe and he couldn't help grinning at the sight because it was too big for her. But even so sleepy, she still looked beautiful.

She rolled her eyes: "And of course that can't be done in any other place than the living room! "You know the answer," he just said, but he made her understand that the answer was 'no'. They both knew Tony and Steve's fights, which the men dismissed as simple discussions, more than well and were correspondingly annoyed by them. Although sometimes they made fun of it and made bets about who would win in the end because the others either gave up or stormed out of the room furiously.

"This time Steve called us all in," he explained his girlfriend, trying to concentrate on the two squabblers, but Natasha attracted all his attention. "She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked a little hurt. That may be all Avengers apart from her had been called to this meeting was not a pleasant thought.

When he noticed the bitterness in her voice, he reached for her hand: "Steve wanted to wake you, too, but then Tony started discussing with him. So I decided to let you sleep until we got to the topic he wanted to talk to us about. Then, of course, I would have woken you up immediately, but you came home so late yesterday that I thought..."

But he didn't get any further because she gently put a finger on his lips: "All right, Clint." Somehow it was really sweet how he had worried about her and thought about her. A soft smile appeared on her lips: "Thank you for letting me sleep." Now he also smiled calmly and turned his gaze back to the spectacle in front of him, which he hadn't even been interested in before.

"I really don't want to interfere now," Bruce suddenly began a little hesitantly: "But will you slowly tell us what it's all about? If not, I'd like to go back to the lab." But his words either went down or were ignored by Steve and Rogers. Compassionately, the redhead looked over to the scientist. Although he had never really had intensive contact with Thor or Banner and had rather stuck to Clint instead, both men had made a sympathetic and, for a change, reasonable impression right from the start. Especially as the rest of the team lacked the latter.

So she clapped her hands once to finally get Steve's and Tony's attention: "Boys! And actually, it works. Both of them turned their heads towards her and looked at her a little surprised. "Romanoff? When did you go over there?", with his hands Stark pointed a little confused from the door frame, where she had stood before, to the sofa. She only answered with a slightly annoyed rolling of her eyes: "Can we please get to the actual subject? You can still discuss it around later! Her lack of sleep was audible in these words. She also wanted to know why Steve had summoned them all.

Steve nodded and looked into the group: "All right, let's get started. It's about a decision I can't make alone. I need your consent because it will affect us all." Interested she looked at the blonde. He knew how to make it exciting and how to talk good around the bush.

"Get to the point, Rogers," Clint said next to her, looking at Rogers with a challenge. She elbowed him in the side but knew he was saying exactly what they were all paying attention to.

"G-good", suddenly Steve sounded a little insecure and hesitantly looked around. Apparently, he wanted to talk to them about something very important to him personally. "It's about my best friend Bucky." "Oh God", it came from Tony when he heard the name: "No matter what it is exactly. I am against it". Steve sighed and Natasha thought she could see his heart slipping into his pants. Immediately she felt sorry for the man with whom she got along quite well.

The name didn't bring back any really good memories for her either. After all, at her first meeting in the 21st century, he had shot another person through her. And then there was her past in the Red Room, which she shared with him to a great extent. But she knew that he couldn't remember her or her. Because one had subjected him again and again to brutal brainwashing and thus robbed him of all his memories.

At that thought, she felt a firm sting in her heart and tried to push those thoughts aside as best she could. To distract herself a little, she smiled encouragingly at Steve. After all, he hadn't had a chance to explain exactly what it was all about. So far only one name had been mentioned.

"He wants to remember his past and so he asked me for help," Rogers continued on her encouragement. "And what does that have to do with us," Bruce asked the first factual question. "I agreed to help him," he began to answer the question: "And I think it's a good idea for him to move in with us."

"What?" Tony shouted immediately and began to shake his head: "Only over my dead body." Automatically, the young woman also cramped up. Steve didn't want the Winter Soldier to live with them, did he? Clint immediately noticed her reaction to these words and stroked her back in a soothing way. He leaned over to her to quietly ask, "Is everything all right? Natasha swallowed and wanted to nod, but her body wouldn't let her, so she just shrugged her shoulders. Clint was the only Avenger who knew her whole past and knew that she had known Bucky before she came to S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Is that for sure?" Clint asked out loud and looked at Steve seriously: "After all, he wasn't necessarily peaceful with us in the past. He even attacked you in the beginning. How do we know that this can't just happen again anytime?" Bruce and Thor nodded approvingly, as this was a legitimate question. Both had hardly anything to do with the Winter Soldier itself, but had heard enough about him from the others. Especially from Tony, who hadn't thrown a good light on the other man.

Steve swallowed hard: "At that time he was under the control of HYDRA and had no memories of me or anything else from his past. But he changed. Especially since he knows who I am again. I have the feeling that people and experiences from his past do him good and give him security. That's why I want him to live here. So I can guarantee that he remains safe. So he can finally find his own place in this century. At that time I had S.H.I.E.L.D. and you who helped me to find my right at this time, but he has only me. Or do you not trust me?"

She knew that what he said was true. At that time he had had the subject and thus an occupation that he could pursue. And besides, he could remember everything. What it was like for Bucky, they couldn't even begin to imagine. Besides, it seemed like Bucky would be calmer if he was with Steve, whom he knew well, and would never give the appearance of being dangerous in any way in his presence. So it would be the right decision, but something inside her resisted it anyway. There were just those many memories of the new Bucky attacking and hurting her that couldn't be made up for by the few good experiences she had had with him since he was back.

"Tasha," Steve asked gently, making her raise her head to look at him. He looked at her pleadingly and immediately she felt guilty. It was really important to her boyfriend and she probably wouldn't act differently if Clint was in Bucky's place.

However, she did not know how she would not react to a reunion with him or how she would cope with living with him here. Finally, she could remember her common past quite well - even though she usually successfully suppressed those memories - when he didn't even remember her name. This thought felt like a kick in the pit of the stomach. But how should you feel when suddenly the man you once loved was back, but he couldn't remember her love or herself?

"Romanoff", Tony spoke to her now and looked at her with a serious look: "Don't fuck around, sweetheart". She had to stifle an annoying rolling of her eyes, but couldn't help but give him an evil look. So he didn't see to it that she spoke for him.

"I abstain," she said with a firm voice and looked at both Steve and Tony with a meaningful look to tell them that she would not discuss it with any of them: "I don't want to be drawn into your rivalry. So, make that between you!"

The men opened their mouths, but she gave both of them an unnerved look. "I can live with that," Steve said anyway and gave Natasha a thankful smile. So it was three to two with one abstention and that was the ticket for Bucky's move in.

But Natasha didn't go for it, she just swallowed hard. When Clint pulled her into his arms again, she closed it and put her head on his shoulders. At that moment she was already thinking about Bucky's move in and was looking for an excuse to spend as little time as possible with him. But did she want that at all or did the man still interest her a little?


	3. Chapter 3

The day dragged on for Natasha like fresh chewing gum, but luckily it came to an end at some point. Steve had avoided Tony noticeably all day long, as he seemed to have made it his business to look at him with evil eyes. Natasha herself had expected just as little enthusiasm from Stark towards her - after all, she was also to blame for the decision to a certain extent. His dislike, however, was limited, and although he didn't talk to her that day, he didn't avoid her and saved her the angry looks.

In the meantime, however, it had become dark outside and Natasha sat on the windowsill of the window in her room. Completely lost in thought, she stared down at the skyline of the city. She still didn't know what to think about Barnes moving in here tomorrow with bag and baggage - at least that's what Steve had announced. It was already clear to her, however, that things would certainly change here.

When suddenly her room door opened, she was a little startled and turned her head in that direction. There, leaning against the door frame, Clint stood and looked at her with a worried look. She looked at him and noticed that he had already prepared himself for the night. He was wearing a light grey shirt, loose cloth pants and his blond brown hair was a little tousled.

"Hey," she mumbled and gave him a matte smile. "Hey," he replied, "Can I come in?" Natasha only answered with a nod. Clint was exactly what she needed to distract herself a little. At least he always managed that.

She watched him step into the room and close the door behind him before he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her. He put his head on her shoulder and looked outside as well: "What are you looking at there?

"Nothing in particular," she admitted and leaned gently against him: "I was just thinking a little." He also pressed lightly against her to give her better hold. "About Barnes," he breathed gently and laid his hands on her waist. She felt his breath on her neck and sighed. He knew her so well that it made no sense to deny it.

"Hmm," she mumbled and looked over her shoulder to him. His look was worried and she could see in his eyes that he didn't like to see her like that. "You can't sit here all night," he took her hand and asked her to look up: "Come to bed and tomorrow we'll see how it goes."

Natasha thought for a moment but then gave in. After all, he was right about that. So she climbed down from the windowsill and let Clint pull her gently to the bed. He went to bed and knocked the blanket to the side. Then he looked at her with a challenge.

She immediately followed him and dropped onto the free side of her bed. Then she covered them both up and snuggled gently against him. He reached for her hand in such a way that he gently put her arm over his chest while she buried her head in his neck bend.

It had always reassured her to sleep next to her best friend as he managed to keep her nightmares away with his closeness and warmth. He gently stroked her free hand through the red curls and looked down at her.

"Maybe you should talk to Steve," he suggested after a few seconds of silence and enjoying each other's company. She hesitantly looked up at him: "Do you think this is a good idea?

"Yes", his voice sounded honest and the expression in his eyes was loving: "Otherwise he will surely ask you for help with Barnes and I know you. You have a hard time saying 'no' to your friends." "But I can't tell him where I know Bucky from," she muttered: "You're the only Avenger who knows that and somehow I want it to stay that way."

He knew very well that she would love to suppress her past from her memories, and what an effort it must have cost her to talk to him about it. However, this had also made for more openness between them and strengthened their trust in each other. But he was also aware that she wouldn't do it if she didn't want to and that it wasn't right to push her into something.

"Just think about it, yeah?" he just said, pulling her a bit closer: "I know you'll make the right decision for you." "Yes, I know," she breathed and watched him. "And I am always with you, no matter what you decide," he continued, but they both knew that it was not necessary at all. Both knew that they would always be there for each other.

Then he closed his eyes and lovingly began to drive a finger over her back in regular lanes. She didn't answer, but simply closed her eyes and listened to his breathing. But then, after some time, both of them were overwhelmed by sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Natasha woke up the next morning, she didn't even have to open her eyes to know that Clint wasn't next to her anymore. She simply lacked his warmth. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked several times as the bright sunlight blinded her and fumbled for Clint with one hand, although she was relatively sure that he was no longer in the room.

As soon as she got used to the light, she pushed the blanket to the side and rose from the bed. Had Clint been here, she would have stayed a little longer, but she simply had no reason to be.

She took a quick look at the clock before she left the room. It was already ten and Natasha was unsure what she would find if she went into the kitchen now. Maybe a freshly moved in Bucky Barnes?

When she hesitantly set foot in the kitchen, she immediately realized that it didn't seem to be the case. Immediately she noticed that her heart began to beat faster at the thought of meeting him again. How much would he remember?

Images of her Red Room past suddenly appeared in her mind's eye. But not the ones about how she had been made a murderer and almost robbed of her humanity. Instead, moments of Bucky and her that she had kept forever in her heart passed her by.

Lost in thought, she stepped into the kitchen and almost automatically walked up to the coffee machine to make herself an extra-strong coffee. Otherwise, a morning with her would not be very pleasant.

While the machine was making a noise behind her, she turned around to the table where the other Avengers were already sitting. "Tomorrow, Romanoff," Stark grumbled and looked at her over the edge of his cup. "Tomorrow," she replied with eyebrows raised, not sure why he was so friendly. After all, he had every reason to be mad at her. A little insecure, she looked at Clint, who was also sitting at the table and was about to eat a strip of ham. He noticed her gaze but just shrugged his shoulders, meaning he had no idea what was going on with Tony himself.

Suddenly the coffee machine beeped and Natasha received her hot drink. Then she also dropped down to the table and placed her cup between her elbows leaning on the tabletop. Her gaze wandered over the faces of those present, feeling that someone was missing. However, her caffeine level was still too low to tell at first glance who was missing. When she had gone through them all, however, she asked with slightly narrowed eyes: "Where is Steve?

"He went to get Bucky," Bruce explained, pushing his glasses up a bit. Natasha sighed and tried not to let anything show. But she could feel Clint's gaze on her and be sure that he looked at her worriedly. Still, she tried not to look at him and ignore his gaze as best she could.

"Oh, okay," she said and stole a strip of bacon from Clint's plate. "Where is he going to live," she asked, trying to sound neutral. "I gave him the empty room next to Steve," Tony said and Natasha looked at him a little surprised. Had the two men clarified that without arguing? Or had it ended again in a huge noise at the end of which Tony had admitted the room to him?

Bucky looked rigidly at the doors of the elevator that had just closed behind Steve and him. Nervously, he drummed around on his thigh with the fingers of his metal arm. Through the glass cabin, he could look down on the city and be glad that he didn't suffer from fear of heights.

"Hey, Buck," Steve attracted the attention of his best friend. Apparently, he had noticed his nervousness: "Are you scared? Bucky immediately pressed his jaws against each other. However, he shook his head honestly: "No, I'm just a little excited." And that was true.

Normally he wouldn't necessarily admit that, but he had to be honest with Steve. He just couldn't help it. Besides, it felt good to trust himself to his friend. Even when he couldn't remember half of their time together. But exactly for this reason, he was alone in the Avengers Tower. He wanted to regain his memories and a part of himself. Because without his memories, whether good or bad, he had the feeling to be incomplete.

"Don't worry, the others will accept you," his voice had accepted a warm pull, but Bucky couldn't imagine that this would ever really be the case.

Even when Steve came up with the suggestion that he could move in with the Avengers, he had been skeptical. But when he told him that the majority had decided that he could move in, he was speechless. Never would he have expected that only another Avenger than Steve would stand up for him like that. Not after what he had already done to some of them.

Suddenly the elevator stopped and the doors slid open with a soft 'ping'. Both men, torn from their thoughts by this abrupt hold, lifted their heads and got out together.

For Bucky, it was the first time he had set foot in the Tower, and the uncertainty of what to expect here weighed heavily on his shoulders. However, he expected, though not a hate wave, rejection. Especially from Tony Stark's side. For although the majority had voted for him, he was certain that it could not have been just one person who had been against it.

Steve immediately set himself in motion and meant his best friend with a shorthand movement in a certain direction that he should follow him. Understanding, Bucky ran after the blond man. In his hands, he had two large suitcases, which fortunately caused him a few problems. What else was he a super-soldier for?

Rogers pushed open a half-open door with his foot and then staggered into the room in front of him. He was followed by Barnes, who took an interesting look into the room. Like most of the Avengers' other bedrooms, he had a large window to the right of the bed through which a lot of sunlight entered. Through the white painted walls, this generally provided a bright, cheerful atmosphere that Bucky somehow liked. It was so very different from the cramped apartment he had been living in for the last few weeks. Of course, he would never get the idea to complain about it.

"Steve placed the suitcases he had transported in a corner and then stepped aside a bit so that Bucky could move the rest to the same place. "It's great," the dark-haired man replied, honestly fascinated, allowing his gaze to scurry briefly over the skyline of the bustling megacity.

"That makes me happy", you could hear Steve, how happy he was to have his friend around all the time and Bucky was no different. He even enjoyed having someone who cared as much about his well-being as Steve Rogers. "By the way, my room is right next door," he explained: "So if you ever need help or are looking for me in general..." "Then I know where I can find you," grinned Bucky broadly and pulled the other man into a short hug. And this was, perhaps for the first time in a long time, a real grin that he didn't think about, it just happened.

"Now you're probably hungry, aren't you?" Steve immediately walked up to the door again and didn't seem to want to give him a short breather: "Bruce made his gifted scrambled eggs with bacon this morning. Maybe we'll get some more." When he addressed the subject, Bucky felt a sense of hunger. That's why he nodded approvingly: "That sounds like a plan."

For a moment he let one last look wander through the room before he left it and from Steve through a large living room into the kitchen. As they stepped through the door, he noticed some of those present raising their heads or freezing. He hated the influence he had on the people who knew who he was.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Steve looking at his teammates with a warning look and then speaking: "Guys, this is Bucky, my best friend."

Surprisingly, a man with dark curls and a purple shirt gave him a friendly smile: "Nice to meet you, Bucky. The others have already told us a lot about you." When he heard that, his heart slipped into his pants. What had the others told about him?

"I'm Bruce and that's Thor," he continued and nodded in the direction of another man with long blond hair when he introduced him. Thor just shoved a fork of scrambled eggs into his mouth and smiled briefly at the man with the metal arm before turning back to his plate. "It's nice to meet you, Bruce," Bucky replied immediately, friendly as he wanted at least one to make it, and then continued to look at the faces of the others present.

Steve smiled gratefully at Bruce and then began to introduce Bucky to the others at the table in turn: "And these are Clint, Tony and ...". But he didn't get any further, because Bucky interrupted him: "Natasha?"

When he pronounced her name, the red-haired woman, who had stared consistently at the tabletop before, looked up at him. Her eyes noticed an insecure flickering. "Yes, how do you know?" Steve seemed surprised by his sudden knowledge of who she was. But he could only answer with a shrug of his shoulder: "She was with you when we met."

His words might have been true, but there was something else she evoked in him. It almost felt as if an old memory was trying to push itself back into his head, but is stopped by some blockade. But as he watched, his heart began to beat faster. He had to be something. However, he could not tell what it was and why he reacted so to their sight.


	5. Chapter 5

"Clint, would you come into the training room with me?" Natasha leaned against the door frame and looked into the living room. There Clint was sitting at his laptop and his concentrated facial expression told her that he was searching the S.H.I.E.L.D. database. Did he have a new mission? Or was he just trying to pass the time?

When she approached him, he raised his head, thought for a moment and shook his head: "No, I'm sorry, Nat. Fury ordered me to file. But if you wait a few more hours, we can go to training later." She sighed and shook her head, although she wasn't sure if it was just an excuse: "All right, then I'll go alone".

"You could also go training with me, Romanoff," Tony suddenly spoke. Surprised, she stared at the dark-haired man, who she hadn't even noticed. She hadn't expected that. After all, it seemed so far as if he couldn't stand her and she had been sure that her contribution to the vote hadn't necessarily improved his attitude towards her. "Are you sure, Stark?" her raised eyebrows told him that she doubted that this was the right decision for Tony.

"Don't worry, I didn't think they'd have to take me like Barton," he grinned as he noticed her pleasant look. Fortunately, the man couldn't see Clint piercing him with a gloomy look. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that sound ambiguous? But that wasn't clear to me now", with one finger he tapped against his lip and pretended as if it had been an accident.

She didn't even answer and just rolled her eyes before turning around to leave the room. But Tony had meant it seriously because he immediately rose and followed her.

"Stark, what do you want?" she grumbled and tied her red hair to a ponytail. "Well train", he stretched out his hand to her and stopped her walking by holding her to the Amr: "With you! "Well, but not with you", with these words she freed herself from his loose grip: "At least not if they don't stop making such remarks about Clint and me. They know we're just friends." Tony sighed and sighed, although it was obvious to him that he doubted this friendship: "Well, I'll try to let it go. But I can't promise anything. I find it much too funny to annoy you for that, Romanoff."

Again she rolled her eyes, but couldn't quite hide a slight grin. She liked it better when he was honest than when he made her false promises, which he didn't keep in the end anyway. "Okay, come on," she walked up to the elevator that was supposed to take her to the floor where the training room was. Stark followed hers with a happy smile that she didn't need to see to know it was there.

The short ride was overshadowed until the doors opened again. Stark got out in front of her and held the door open for her like a gentleman. A little surprised by this action, unusual for him, she hesitated for a moment, but then went through. He grinned at her confidently and then followed her: "Well, Romanoff, show me some of her tricks."

"All right," she climbed into the ring and waited for him to do the same to her. She scanned him and tried to analyze his movements to see a pattern. She always did this almost automatically and so she did here, even though Stark was not an enemy. He went into attack position while she lifted her hands and waited for him to attack her. In this fight, she counted on his ego and thus on the fact that he would not necessarily adopt the defensive position.

And she hadn't misjudged him. He let his gaze wander over her. Then he jumped towards her and tried to grab her arms. However, she easily avoided this rather weak attack and instead grabbed his wrists. She embraced them comparatively gently, but tactically cleverly, so that she could turn them on his back.

"Ah, Romanoff" he grumbled and looked at her quite surprised: "Ouch." Apparently, he hadn't expected her to block his attack. This made her sometimes a little angry because she hated it when her colleagues underestimated her, but on the other hand, it also gave her a certain sense of triumph. She let him stay in this position for a few more seconds but then detached himself from him so that he could stand up again.

"You can get down to it, Romanoff," he grinned, but Natasha knew that he meant business and that this was very close to a compliment. Anyway, if you were dealing with a man like Tony Stark: "Now I can understand why Barton didn't want to train with them today". "Clint always likes to train with me," she sulked slightly and looked at him a little darkly, but wasn't angry about it.

He just winked at her charmingly and then waved his hand at her. So he asked her to attack him now. She responded immediately and soon entangled him in a fistfight, in which both of them came along equally well. "Say once, Romanoff', he gasped, while he continued to defend himself well against them. She had to admit that he was better at protecting himself from her than when it was the other way around. "What was it this morning with Barnes and you?" he ended his question and she had to pull herself together so as not to sigh out loud. Actually, she had hoped that nobody would address her and especially not Stark.

That's why she made an innocent facial expression in which she was already used to: "I don't know what you mean, Stark." The man looked at her with a contemptuous look: "Seriously? The others may buy that from you, but I don't. But I'm happy to bring your memory back up to date."

She tilted her head slightly and crossed her arms in front of her chest, waiting for his assessment of the previous situation. "This morning we were all sitting at the kitchen table together, while Steve had gone to get Barnes," when he pronounced the newcomer's name, he distorted his face, almost feeling a little disgusted.

Although she knew he had never seemed to be well disposed towards Bucky, she had never asked him why. But she was sure there had to be some reason. Stark mistrusted no one simply without reason. She had finally felt this on her own body after her camouflage at Stark Industries had been blown. At that time she was there as S.H.I.E.L.D. - Shadow to look after Tony. After that, she had to work hard to regain his trust and still hadn't managed to regain it completely.

"Anyway, Rogers then came into the kitchen with Barnes and started introducing the team," he almost explained to her as if she hadn't been there: "But when he wanted to introduce you, he knew who you were by himself. Stark's gaze was inquiring as he waited for a reaction from her: "And that's when I wondered where."

She grudgingly looked at him for a moment, but then replied, "I was on a mission with Steve when we first saw Barnes. But I didn't think he'd remember it either." That's all she wanted and would tell him. It was simply none of his business.

"Then you somehow managed to keep him in mind", for a moment his words made her careless, so that he could carry her with a light kick against her arms, which she had lifted for protection, against the elastic ropes of the ring: "Or is there perhaps more, hm?".

He'd like to know! But she wouldn't tell him anything about her past. What was then between Bucky and her was nobody's business except Clint and Fury.

Annoyed, she stood up again and slipped out of the ring. She could have imagined that he only wanted to train with her to get new information. "Natasha, wait," he shouted after her as she walked towards the door. "Why should I?" she asked grumpily and didn't bother to look back or stop before shouting in a sarcastic tone: "If you want to know anything about me, just hack my S.H.I.E.L.D. file. You seem to have a lot of fun with that." With that, she alluded to the fact that he had tried exactly that before but luckily had failed.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve looked expectantly into the group: "So, what are we doing tonight?" Natasha raised her head and looked at Steve questioningly. Where did that come from now? Although they often spent the evenings together, most of the time someone arrived in the afternoon with such an idea and only when they hadn't planned something else. But now it was already evening, which is why the whole thing came spontaneously. That's why this question surprised them a little. And she didn't seem to be the only one who was surprised. But maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Because an evening together would probably help to get rid of the negative mood that prevailed between the Avengers.

"I don't know, but I didn't even know they had planned to spend any time together tonight," Tony mumbled into his Bourbon. Shortly Natasha watched him a little worried. That he drank at this time was not a good sign.

Normally he only showed such behavior at night when he couldn't sleep and sneaked restlessly through the tower. She had already observed him often enough when she had been plagued by insomnia again. Of course Tony had no idea about it. But that was no wonder if you knew how well she could stay undiscovered. But for a spy that was also appropriate.

So that it didn't turn into a ridiculous argument again, she quickly intervened: "I also think it's a good idea if we spend tonight together, Steve." Immediately she could feel Clint's gaze on her and know without even looking that he was looking at her inquiringly. But she didn't go into that and preferred to keep turning to Steve: "How about movie night, for example? We haven't done that in a while." "Yes, I think that's good, too," Bruce agreed, who just closed his laptop and put it away. "When we order something to eat, I'm there, too," Clint intervened and Natasha immediately realized that it wasn't just his obvious hunger that was the reason. He also had the goal to support her a little bit with her suggestion. "Oh, yes we could eat shawarma," Thor loudly suggested.

"If we do that, we'll get something else," Tony protested, but Natasha noticed that he also wanted to join the group for a movie night. But we couldn't blame him for that, although he tried not to let it show. "Why," Thor asked in surprise. "Because we already ate shawarma on Wednesday and I certainly don't eat the same thing every other day," Tony explained to him soberly.

"Well, what do you suggest then, metal man," Thor folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at the superhero expectantly and provocatively at once. "What do you think of Chinese food," Tony asked the question.

Slowly Natasha's stomach began to growl loudly, making the men speed up their decision-making process a little. "I think it's good," Rogers intervened again: "What about you, Buck?" He turned to his friend and looked at him questioningly.

At the first part of his sentence, Natasha had nodded, but when the nickname fell, she instantly froze. She hadn't even noticed that Barnes had come in. He was still as good at sneaking up on her as he used to be.

"Sounds like a plan," Bucky agreed to the blonde super-soldier with a nod. The others also informed Tony in turn of their agreement and even Thor seemed to agree.

So they finally decided to go to a Chinese restaurant and called there to order. However, the snack bar had no delivery service, so they would have to pick up their food themselves. Fortunately, the restaurant was around the corner, so that wasn't a big problem. Only on the question which two Avengers had to go now have to be clarified.

"I think I'll go of my own free will," Natasha said briefly since she wanted to leave here. Or rather, she just wanted to escape Bucky. She could now feel his interested gaze on her for a few minutes. She bit her lip and consistently tried not to look over to the man with the metal arm. But his staring made her crazy inside. Eventually, he couldn't remember anything from his past and didn't know who she was anymore. So why did he seem so interested in her?

"Very good, Romanoff," Stark commented and it was noticeable to him that he was happy not to have to take on this task himself. "Then I'll come with you," Clint said, which she didn't necessarily dislike. He was always a good company and he always managed to distract them.

"Otherwise I would also like to come," Steve said almost at the same moment. His piercing gaze was fixed on Natasha and everyone in the room knew that he wanted to join in.

"You'll have to leave your lover to Steve today, Falcon," Tony joked with an amused grin. Her eyes immediately darkened and Clint's eyes narrowed to slits. "Beloved?" Steve asked confusedly. "How many times should we say it? We're not ...", Clint set out to talk, but Natasha just waved: "Leave it alone, Clint. There's no point in that. He never learns anyway." Then she got up and looked back and forth between Clint and Steve: "So, please agree who's coming with us now".

Clint sighed, but then Steve nodded: "You go ahead. Then at least I can make sure that a good film is chosen. I don't want to end up watching Titanic or shit like that." "Thank you, Clint", Steve sounded cheerful and his big smile told Natasha that Clint's words amused him. She was quite surprised that this decision had suddenly come about too quickly - especially Clint didn't look very similar - but she thought it was a good chance. But she shouldn't get used to it. "Then go," Steve immediately seemed completely ready to go.

Bucky, who had also sat down on the sofa in the meantime, made an unsatisfied impression: "Can't you stay here, Steve? "I'll be right back," the interviewee said, but only: "It won't take long. I promise! However, this didn't seem to calm Bucky much. He didn't like the thought of having to be alone with the other men. But somehow you could understand that because he didn't get along very well with Clint and Tony. But Steve didn't seem to be dissuaded from his plan with Natasha.

"Come on," Steve said to his best friend and nodded towards the elevator. The sooner we leave, the sooner we'll be back and the sooner we can eat." Natasha nodded approvingly and somehow Steve's exuberant manner made her forget Bucky's looks for a moment.

They said goodbye to the others and then walked towards the elevator. They didn't take a jacket because it was still quite warm outside. When the doors opened, they got in together. She took a last look into the living room and hoped that the men would not bang each other's heads in their absence.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm so glad Bucky's finally living with us", Steve's voice was filled with joy and a childlike smile appeared on his lips: "You know, I think I can help him." She almost said that he was going into raptures as he spoke with hope. But her heart became heavy. Steve was shining since Bucky was with them. And so her concern was all the greater. Because it would no doubt break his heart if Bucky didn't get his memories back. Steve would most likely break that.

"Besides, it feels good to have him every day to have me," he continued as they shifted between people: "Because of the work, I hardly had time for him, so I'm really happy now. After all, he is my best friend and he is the person I have known the longest". She swallowed and then grabbed him by the arm, as he was just about to run out onto the street. "Steve, be careful," she said shocked and pulled him back onto the sidewalk.

"Oh Shit, Nat. Thanks," he cursed and took a few more steps backward: "What would I do without you?" "There was nothing sarcastic or amused in her voice, but rather completely serious: "And now eyes on the road. I would hate to have to spend this evening in the emergency room again."

About fifteen minutes later they left the restaurant where they had ordered, fully loaded again. "We are friends, aren't we," Steve asked as they made their way back to the tower. On this question, she raised her head and looked at him with an inquiring glance: "Yes? She took the word extra long because she wasn't sure why he asked that. So far, this question had never meant anything good, but rather a trap. But Steve wasn't really like that. So she was quite surprised by this question.

"And you would help me if I needed you, wouldn't you?" he continued his questioning, whereupon her eyebrows rose. "Steve, what do you want from me', she sounded suspicious. "You are, of all of us, the best fighter without weapons," he began to continue and she knew he was partly right, but let him continue: "That's why I wanted to ask you to help me train with Bucky."

She swallowed his words hard. He didn't know that she and James knew each other, so she couldn't blame him for that question. Still, she didn't feel comfortable with the thought. But Steve couldn't tell her. That was just not possible. She didn't want to be the girl she had been when she had been in the Red Room. She had done so many unforgivable things and she was afraid of what would happen if the other Avengers, who were not only her colleagues but also her friends and family, heard about it.

"Nat", Steve pushed the lip slightly forward: "Please." She lowered her eyes because she didn't want to become soft and give in. "Please, I can't do this alone," he added when she didn't answer. "Steve," she set in a melancholic tone but didn't know what to say. And he also seemed to notice that: "Try it only once. If you don't want to do it afterward, I won't bother you with it either. Agreed?"

He stretched out his hand to her and she sighed softly. There was no point in avoiding him any longer or at least trying to avoid him anyway. "Promise?" she went after. "Yes, promised," he said immediately and looked at her honestly. "All right, I'll try it once," she gave in and reached for his hand to smash in. "Thank you, Nat," a joyful smile again adorned his lips: "You won't regret it." She crunched slightly with her pines. There she was not so sure herself.

After five minutes they stood in the Stark Tower again and found a group of hungry Avengers. Bruce had grabbed a science paper and seemed tied up in the content, while Thor had got himself a bottle of beer to sip on as a pastime. Clint had taken a whole sofa for himself in which he simply lay down for a long time and refused to move away. Only for Tony, there was some room at one end. But he didn't have an eye for that, because he was too busy not to let James out of his sight. He had let himself fall into an armchair and remained silent. Clint and Thor talked to each other in contrast to him and Tony also changed a word with them now and then, but otherwise seemed rather absent.

When Clint noticed the two newcomers, he immediately sat up: "There you are at last again." She had to grin at his words. "Please don't ever leave me alone with them again, Nat", his gaze was sniveling and he stretched out his arms to her. She had to laugh and put the food she was wearing on the table before she took off her jacket, threw it somewhere over a chair and then came to Clint. Steve also put his things down and joined the others.

Clint took his legs off the sofa so she could sit down. Almost as if he had saved her a seat. She let herself fall on the vacated spot and Baron immediately pulled her in. "Very seriously. It was bad here without you," he muttered and just so loud that only she could hear him. "It sounds good to me that you can't get along without me," she laughed and looked over at him. "Haha", he rolled his eyes but grinned.

But then she released again and grabbed her meal and some chopsticks to eat her noodles. He sighed, but then took his food from the table. "Have you already decided on a film," Natasha asked, as they all slowly began to eat. "Yes, James Bond: Casino Royale," Clint replied to her and put an arm around her hips to bring her back.

"A movie about a poker-playing spy? You're serious?", she looked into the round rolling her eyes. "You just have to say, Romanoff," Tony laughed next to her: "I can perfectly imagine Barton and you in the same situation. Ironic, isn't it?" "Shut up, Stark," Barton grumbled immediately, annoyed and Natasha grinned amusedly.

"After a few minutes, it came from Thor, who seemed to be slowly becoming innocent. "Yes, I'll turn it on," Steve spoke up and Natasha saw him reach for the remote.

"Come here," Clint whispered to Natasha and put away the empty packaging of his food. She grinned as he pulled her back into his arms and let herself sink slightly against his chest before she crossed her fingers with his. "Guys, get a room," Stark commented again, but the two just tried to ignore it. A "Shut up, Stark" was the only thing Natasha answered.


	8. Chapter 8

Suddenly she opened her eyes and startled high. The blanket slipped from her upper body and a few red strands were hanging in her face. Natasha's breath went fast and flat. For a moment she just stared into the blackness until her eyes slowly got used to the darkness. When she felt an arm pressing on her hips, she felt her heart start to return to normal.

She took several deep breaths and then slowly let herself sink back into the pillows. Then she turned her head to the person next to her lying there on the pillow to her right. Having Clint lying next to her had always been surprisingly soothing. His arm laying on top of her was heavy but gave her the feeling that he was protecting her in her sleep.

A light smile appeared on her lips and she stroked a finger over his arm until she reached his hand. There she crossed her fingers gently with his and closed her eyes again, hoping to fall asleep again. This hope disappeared after a few minutes. Suddenly she was wide awake and felt the need to stretch her legs.

So she opened her eyes sighing and looked back at Clint. He slept soundly and soundly and seemed so peaceful and innocent that she didn't want to wake him up. So she slowly let go of his hand and carefully pushed his arm to the side so she could put the blanket aside and slip out of bed.

When her toes touched the cool wooden floor, she turned her head around again to see if it hadn't woken him up by mistake. But her best friend kept dozing relaxed, which made her breathe a sigh of relief. Lucky! Then she stood up and sneaked through the darkness to the door on tiptoe. Almost in slow motion, she pushed down the door handle, hoping it wouldn't creak, and left the room almost noiseless. More often than was probably good for her, she sneaked out at night, when she had once again been startled from her sleep. Fortunately, however, her nightmares became much rarer when someone lay next to her. Especially someone as familiar as Clint.

The hallway was dark, which told her she was the only one who seemed awake at this time. Relieved, she breathed a sigh of relief and almost felt as if a stone was falling from her heart. Quickly she scampered into the kitchen and instinctively went to the spot where the light switch was. From the many times that she had been here in the dark, she already knew where it was. It took barely a few seconds until the room was flooded with light. Immediately she had to blink as her eyes were not prepared for the sudden flare, but after a few seconds, she could see her surroundings properly. Here, too, she was alone for her relief.

She set herself in motion and walked straight towards one of the cupboards above the counters. There she had to stand on her toes to be able to take a look inside and then took out a glass. "All of a sudden a deep, male voice sounded behind her and she froze in the middle of the movement as if she had been frozen. She also knew exactly who was standing behind her without turning around. However, she tried not to let anything show when she had released herself from her short rigor and grabbed another gall before turning around. Her heartbeat, however, had accelerated noticeably.

Behind her stood Barnes, whom she had already heard in his voice, which had become marrow and leg over the years. Wordlessly, she passed one of the two containers to him but quickly pulled her hand back to prevent her hands from touching. "Thank you", a little smile had appeared on his lips and she noticed him slowly moving his gaze over her body. And so she couldn't help but take a few seconds to look at him. His dark brown hair was tousled and fell into his eyes. He wore black sweatpants and a white T-shirt that didn't hide the slight curvature of his muscles. She swallowed heavily and turned to the sink to fill her glass with tap water. Damn, he still looked as good as ever. Maybe even better.

She stubbornly felt his gaze, under which she felt naked, but tried to ignore it. In those seconds, she just tried not to put herself on more than a white T-shirt and grey shorts to sleep for. Clint didn't need more, but Bucky did.

Therefore she supported herself relaxed with one hand played - in this situation, she was anything but relaxed - on the bar behind her and slowly took a delicious sip of her drink. Meanwhile, he kept his eyes on her and she could see that he didn't like the wait very much. He was used to it differently, but Natasha didn't care. The times when she was afraid of arguments with him were long gone. And that at least since they had lost their professional relationship in the Red Room.

"What makes you think so?" she asked and looked at him innocently when he sighed and had to suppress a rolling of his eyes. "Well, you seem very ... To her surprise, his voice was quiet and he tilted his head slightly to watch them with interest.

"Besides, I saw you just come out of his room," he added when she didn't seem to answer. She bit her lower lip slightly, knowing how strange it must have looked when she had just left Clint's room so little clothed. "It's none of your business," she began, but then became honest: "But no, Clint and I have just been very good friends for years. That's why we are so familiar. Nothing more! She didn't know exactly why she told him, but she told herself inside that she was doing it so he wouldn't tell the others anything wrong. Inside, however, she knew that was not the only reason.

Bucky's facial expression changed as soon as she finished the sentence. Something sparkled in his eyes that she would almost call satisfaction. But she quickly repressed that thought. That could not be at all! But there was a little smile on his lips that even she couldn't deny.

"I'd better go now,' she said quickly to escape the situation and walked towards the door. But he remained immobile in the door frame and made no effort to step aside in response to her words. So she cleared her throat slightly as she stopped in front of him. What was he up to? For a moment he just looked her in the eye and didn't move, but then stepped a little to the side. Without staying any longer in front of him, she pushed herself past him and tried hard not to touch him. However, she thought she could feel the heat that his body radiated on her skin, so few centimeters they step on each other.

Having just passed him, he suddenly grabbed her wrist with his human hand and stopped her from walking on. But not only that. He also skilfully pulled her a few centimeters to himself, while taking care that she didn't stumble. Surprised, she turned her head to him with a questioning expression on her face but still didn't feel the need to free herself from him. "Sleep well," he whispered with his deep, masculine voice, which shivered down her spine. Quietly she nodded not to answer powerfully anything, and the next moment he had let her go again. Still amazed, she turned on her heel to disappear into Clint's room again. With that in mind, she was still with Bucky.


	9. Chapter 9

Natasha stood there without a word, her hands supported in the sides, and watched Bucky and Steve. She had just entered the training room, but the men hadn't noticed her yet. So she used those seconds to watch the two friends. Although she knew that both decades, if not longer, had been separated, they seemed so familiar with each other as if this whole time had never been.

When Steve unconsciously turned her head in Natasha's direction during her conversation, the blonde suddenly noticed her and she waved to him smiling: "Hey, Stevie. You didn't even notice me." "Hey," the super-soldier replied, "You're too late." Immediately she crossed her arms in front of her chest: "Be glad that I'm doing this at all and if that bothers you so much, I'm free to go right away."

She hadn't wanted to say that and didn't mean it, but she had been tense about it all morning. For a moment she had even thought about canceling. But then she decided that she couldn't do that to Steve at all. Finally, they relied on each other and she didn't want to break that trust. Her friendship was worth too much to her.

"Sorry," he said a little contrite: "It wasn't meant that way. Thank you for helping at all". She felt immediately how her heart became heavy and began to feel bad because of her words. "All right, let's just forget that and get started," she said quickly.

Now her eyes also fell on Bucky, whom she had previously faded out rather successfully. He looked at her from head to toe and there was an expression in his eyes that shivered down her spine. Why did he still have such an influence on her?!

"Damn, Steve, why didn't you tell me that she looks so hot in those clothes," he whispered to Steve so that only he could hear it. Again he took a look and couldn't help but admit that she looked damn hot. He had noticed that before, but this one was beating everything else. Even the last night, when he had only seen her in short shorts and a T-shirt, couldn't top it.

With a warning look Steve stared at him: "Bucky, I don't want to hear anything like that. Keep those thoughts about my best friend to yourself." Bucky was about to reply, and Natasha intervened: "Do we want to get started or not?

"Yes, sure," Steve replied immediately, but didn't let it be missed to give his friend the last look, who said as much as "Pull yourself together, Buck". Bucky pressed his jaws slightly together, but then said nothing about it and tried to pull himself together. To let the redhead look away, which was harder than expected.

"You two start best. I'll sit next to you and watch you," Steve suggested and Natasha shrugged her shoulders in agreement. Then, relaxed on the outside, she set herself in motion to slip into the boxing ring. Inside she was nervous now and that didn't improve as he climbed into the ring with her.

Now they were closed and she had the feeling she couldn't get out of his way so easily. If he had his memories of their shared past, she would feel a lot safer. Then she could at least be sure that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Guys, I want to see a fair fight. If someone is on the ground, it's over," the super-soldier admonished both of them equally. "Because an opponent with a metal arm is so fair," she sarcastically replied and took a look at the arm. That was what she least liked about the fight. He had had it before, but now she couldn't judge the man's ability. Surely she was not the only one who had developed her abilities.

"Come on, Nat," Rogers' voice was begging: "You've had to deal with quite different opponents before." She didn't tell him that Bucky had something completely different. "All right," she pulled herself together and fixed Bucky's face rather than his metal arm. "Then start when you're ready", with these words Steve let herself fall on a chair and stayed out of the whole thing, but watched her with excitement.

The agent took an extra few seconds to figure out how he would fight. And she noticed that she also had at least one small advantage over him. Because she knew his fighting style, or at least the one he had had before, while he couldn't remember hers. However, it felt as if he, responding to the elegant style that she knew so well and that he had taught her, was going a bit more rash this time and just trying to hit it. Anyway, it had been the last time he had fought Steve and her.

"Ready," Bucky asked after a few seconds, tearing her from her thoughts. More self-confident than she just felt, she nodded, "Of course, anytime." A light smile appeared on his lips and a playful expression was reflected in his eyes.

She automatically went into a defensive posture as he took a few steps towards her, starting with a few punches that were easy for her to fend off. "Do you want more?" he grinned slightly as she swung to her blows. When she nodded, he simply held her fist clenched hands, preventing her from being able to detach herself from him.

She tried to free herself, but his grip was much too strong. Both were so close that she could feel his breath on her face. A hot shiver ran down her back. The longer she was close to him, the more nervous she became. So she chose a different technique and rammed a knee into his pit of the stomach. Bucky wasn't completely unimpressed by this either, as he came up lightly and staggered back a little. He was so distracted that she could free herself and take a few steps backward.

When he raised his head again and looked at her, he sulked slightly: "Unfair." He held the mange lightly, but couldn't be angry with her. Instead, her attraction to him only increased. But it wasn't just that. There was something familiar about the young woman, but he didn't know what it came from.

"No, that was completely legitimate," she contradicted him shaking her head and this time she was the one who attacked. But this time it was different. Both fought on a par with each other and they complemented each other perfectly. It almost seemed to her as if nothing had changed, as if he was still the same and he still had his memories. Natasha knew, however, that this was not the case. Nevertheless, she let herself fall into the moment and enjoyed that it was at least for a moment like before.

But then he did something she hadn't expected. His metal hand embraced her hips and he pressed her against the ropes of the ring. Surprised, she gasped and her hands lay around his wrist, hoping to get him to let her go. But he held her so tight and just looked at her.

Suddenly two things had crept into his head, a picture, and a name, both of which suddenly seemed so familiar to him. It was only a few seconds, but it was her, it was younger, but it was her and she found herself in the same position. He held on to her, but with a broad grin on his lips.

But Natasha brought him back to reality with a single word: "James, let me go." Though she didn't want it, she spoke to him by the name she had used to address him again and again and which had been stolen from him by HYDRA. He froze almost instantly, but then let her go slowly and stared at her with a spell. "Natalia," he breathed and took her face in his hands.

When the name that she had discarded years ago sounded, she flinched slightly and looked at him with big eyes. First, her heart made a sentence and then beat faster. How did he know that name? He could not know that. Impossible!

But then she freed herself from his grip and climbed out of the ring as fast as she could. She had to get out of here quickly. "I'm through for today, Rogers," she shouted to Steve before she left the room with a door slam.


	10. Chapter 10

Slowly Bucky dropped onto the chair next to Steve. His whole body was numb and he stared spellbound at the boxing ring. So he just sat there for a few seconds before raising his voice again: "Sorry, Steve. I exaggerated." Steve put one hand on his friend's shoulder. "She will certainly never train with us again," she slowly released herself from his rigidity and looked at Steve apologetically.

The blonde tried to reassure Barnes: "Hey, don't worry about it. I knew from the start that she had only agreed to do me a favor." Bucky pressed his jaws against each other: "What? She didn't want to?" Wordlessly, Rogers shook his head: "No, she didn't tell me anything."

Again, both men were silent and it seemed as if they were both trying to find their answer to this question. "Steve", Bucky attracted his friend's attention again after a few seconds. "Yes," Steve's forehead wrinkled. "I-I saw something while I was fighting with her," he hesitantly spoke.

A hopeful expression flashed in Steve's eyes and he was hanging from the dark-haired man's lips: "What? Now? Tell me! Bucky swallowed hard. Somehow it felt strange to talk about it. Even with Steve, his best friend, to whom he confided everything else. But that had something intimate about it. It wasn't so much the scene itself, but rather her. Because suddenly there was something, a feeling that arose when he thought of her. And he couldn't even explain why. Only that this feeling had arisen with the picture in his head.

"It feels like a shred of memory," Barnes slowly began to describe. A broad grin appeared on Steve's face and friends spread in him: "That is, it worked? You'll get your memories back." Bucky nodded quietly. That was great news even in his understanding, but what he saw was far too much on his mind at that moment. So they could already do each other for a long time.

If he was honest, he had already had the feeling of knowing them from somewhere when he arrived at the Avengers Tower. And not only from the fight against Steve, Sam and her a few months ago. But it was just an unfounded feeling, but now it was different. He had the proof, but he still couldn't tell when and how they knew each other. And probably she would be the only one who could answer his question.

"And what exactly did you remember," Steve repaired, whereupon Bucky froze for a moment: "And why exactly in the fight with Natasha? Although the blonde soldier was his best friend, he just asked far too much for Bucky's taste. Or at least he asked the wrong questions.

For a moment his inner struggle was reflected in his eyes and he had to wrestle with himself to open his mouth and raise his voice: "I saw Natalia, um... I mean Natasha." Steve raised his eyebrows and the surprise is written in his face: "N-Natasha? W-Why that?" Bucky bit her lower lip slightly: "I don't know. It just happened when I grabbed her."

Silence filled the room for a moment and Steve just stared into space before rising from his chair. "Steve," he tried to grab his friend's hand, but he pulled it away. Steve set himself in motion but didn't go to the door, but just walked back and forth as if he had to think about something, clear his head. "Steve, what's the matter? immediately he began to feel bad.

He hadn't wanted to hurt his best friend, but what could he do? After all, he couldn't decide for himself what he suddenly remembered and what he didn't. However, it was clear to him that Steve had wished that he would remember their shared past and more details of the time they had together. Instead, the red-haired agent had sneaked into his thoughts and with her had come countless questions to which he urgently needed answers.

After a few minutes of Steve just walking around thinking, the soldier stopped: "Buck, do me a favor." Bucky immediately raised his head and looked at him attentively. "Talk to Nat. I know you want to know everything about what you saw," he asked his friend. "Are you sure?", Bucky went over again. So far Steve had somehow not asked what he had seen exactly. Did he know anything that it was for Bucky and that he was reluctant to talk about it?

"Yes, I'm sure. I can see that it's bothering you, my friend," he put a brotherly hand on his shoulder: "Besides, we can talk more about it later if you want. Gratefully Bucky nodded and leaned slightly against Steve: "Thank you, you're my best friend and I would love to remember more of our past". "It's okay, it will come sometime. I'm sure you will. Now the main thing is that you even know that we are friends," he said to him well: "And now talk to Nat. Please." "If they talk to me at all," Barnes told him his reservations: "After all, she was pretty angry. But I try. Promised!"


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh evening air. She tied the strings of her shoes one more time to make sure they wouldn't open at the next step and then started jogging at a moderate pace.

Running a lap in Central Park was exactly what she needed after the horror training session. So she had always been able to distract herself when she wanted to clear her head and had no mission. It might sound strange, but working helped her to get different thoughts again and again. When she slipped into a role, she not only laid off her name for a while, but also everything else that had to do with Natasha Romanoff, and that also included her worries.

At the time, however, there was either a clear ebb tide as far as new assignments were concerned, or Fury had quietly decided not to give her any new missions for any reason. So she had no choice but to try and relieve the stress.

Just when she was increasing her tempo a little, a loud voice rang out behind her: "Natalia, wait! When that name sounded, she shrugged noticeably and felt her whole body stiffening for a moment.

She didn't even have to turn around without knowing who had called. After all, only a few other people knew of that name and those who had been in the loop for some time knew that she didn't want to be called that. So it was undoubtedly Barnes.

But she didn't turn around and certainly didn't follow his request to wait. "Man, Natalia, stop," suddenly footsteps sounded behind her and she turned her head to the side to see that he was running after her and next to her a few seconds later.

"Don't call me that," she hissed and looked at him dead serious. She didn't want to talk to him, but that was important. After all, she couldn't risk him making the mistake of calling her by that name in front of the other Avengers.

"But that's your name,' the man looked at her confusedly. Unfortunately, he seemed to be well enough trained to follow her without any problems. She swallowed easily and then nodded: "Yes, but I don't want to be called that." "Why?" he continued drilling and she ran faster, hoping he would stay behind and leave her alone.

"Because that's not my name anymore," she explained, knowing that he wouldn't just let it be good if she didn't answer him now. His questioning expression on his face told her that he still had masses of questions, so she went straight on without him having to ask at all. "I changed him when I came to America and tried to leave my old life behind," she continued but avoided his gaze as he spoke.

"But how could you do that so easily?" Even though she didn't see his face, she felt his gaze drilling into her from the side. "I had no other choice', as she spoke, her voice became noticeably quieter.

She didn't like to think about the darkest days of her life and didn't want to talk to him about it. Only one memory stood out from all the others. It was the day she first met Clint. S.H.I.E.L.D. had instructed him to kill her because she was slowly beginning to pose too great a danger - at that time she was still under HYDRA's control and was doing things that she has been following in her dreams ever since. But Clint had decided otherwise and made her an offer to go to America with him and work for S.H.I.E.L.D. there. And she had decided to come with him, decided on a new and better life.

Bucky Fragerei made her think about it again and the longer she spent with him the more she had to think about it. This made her realize that maybe there was one thing that had been good after all. Something that had saved her from becoming the monster for at least a while and that HYDRA had wanted to do for her. And that was the relationship between her and her coach, Bucky Barnes.

"Please, Natasha," suddenly he grabbed her by the arm and stopped her so abruptly. Surprised, she stared at him and tried to free herself from his grip, but he continued to hold her. She immediately avoided his gaze, but he put a hand on her cheek, "Hey, look at me." Gently he made her lift her head slightly and look at it again.

"You can still remember everything and have made the decision that you don't want anything to do with it anymore," he began and fixed it with his gaze: "But I can't remember, which doesn't give me the chance to make the same decision for myself.

She remained silent and just stared at him. His words caused her heart to contract painfully. "It's not so bad in itself because I'll never go back to HYDRA," he continued when he realized that he had her attention: "But in time there are not only numerous murders veiled, but also good memories of relationships I once had, for instance. When he said 'relationships', she flinched again slightly. Did he know again that they had had something with each other?

He too had felt the slight twitch, because for a moment he just looked her in the eye, as if he was trying to find out what she was thinking. Then, however, he lowered his gaze slightly: "For example, the time during the war I had with Steve before I came to HYDRA. It's all gone and I just want it back. So if you can help me just a little, please do. You know how important that is to me."

For a few seconds, they were both silent, while the redhead's head was working wildly. Should she, or rather could she, help him? "All right," she took a short break to calm her heart that had started beating faster: "But bit by bit and not all at once." Relieved, he took a deep breath and his eyes reflected thanks. "And don't press me", with these words she freed herself from his grip and set herself in motion again without hesitation. That would certainly not be as funny as Barnes imagined it to be at that moment. She was already sure of that! But still, there was a small part inside her that stuck to the thought that there was at least a small chance that he knew again what they had had together. But that was surely complete nonsense and surely nothing more than pure wishful thought.


End file.
